Elite Guard Heroes
by masterctarl
Summary: A collection of short stories for a Humanized "Human Error" Transformers Animated world. Please see inside for details. Various pairings. CONTAINS SLASH. RATING SUBJECT TO CHANGE.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or anything associated with them. I just write fanfics. They belong to Hasbro, so don't sue me. K?**

**Note:** Oh, no! It's another Humanized Transformers fanfic! (lol) Yes, it's true. I gave in and wrote one. The series is called the Elite Guard Heroes. For those of you who don't know, the name is a reference to the fact that before it was called Transformers Animated, TFA was originally going to be called Transformers: Heroes. So my title's a little shout out to that. It takes place in Detroit, like TFA, but has a few references to more Cybertronian concepts, like Datapads. Each 'chapter' is going to be a stand-alone story. It will not be connected to any of the others unless otherwise noted. **I DO TAKE REQUESTS FOR THIS SERIES.** Which ones I will follow through with are subject to my writing ability and preferences. I _am_ bias, lol.

**Note 2: **So, the first story in the Elite Guard Heroes series was _supposed_ to be Halloween, but I ended up finishing this one first. When I finish Halloween I'll post that too. But just so you know, that's why this one seems like it's a little out of place as the first part, it wasn't supposed to be. It was going to be the second.

**Note 3:** So, who here knows their references? Let's see if anyone can spot the TFA, Transformers Comics, and Pirates of the Caribbean references! No prizes, just fun, lol.

**Chapter rating: **PG13 for language and innuendo**  
Characters: **Bumblebee, Prowl, and Lockdown**  
Pairing:** Lockdown/Prowl**  
Summary:** In one of his (many) attempts to dislodge Prowl and Lockdown's relationship, Bumblebee causes the internet debate of the ages to spread to the Death's Head.

**Pirates versus Ninjas**

"You two can't be together!"

Prowl and Lockdown looked at each other, then back at the blond teenager. "Alright, what's your reasoning this time, Bumblebee?" Prowl asked calmly. They were used to the sugar junkie's once-a-month bursts of unique logic behind his objections. As usual, it started with him bursting into the garage unceremoniously. Prowl long since convinced the leather-clad bounty hunter he resided with to stop chasing the yellow-clad boy out of the garage with a blow torch. So Lockdown growled in annoyance, but then simply ducked back under the hood of the muscle car he was eternally upgrading.

Bumblebee leaned over the desk Prowl was doing financial paperwork for the garage at. He looked as if he were letting the Japanese man in on a life secret. "Pirates versus Ninjas."

Prowl's left eyebrow cocked. He waited, but no more accompanied it. So he echoed this… astounding evidence of the eventual failure of their relationship. "Pirates versus Ninjas…" he repeated slowly.

"Yep."

Lockdown closed the hood, leaning against it and rubbing his rough chin. "Okay, brat. You sparked my curiosity. What the hell does ninjas and pirates have to do with us?"

"No, no, no! Not ninjas and pirates! It's Pirates versus Ninjas!" Bumblebee corrected in that 'adults are all stupid' way he and the rest of the world between 13 and 17 had mastered. He dug around the pocket of his sleeveless hoodie for a moment before producing a cherry lollipop. He unwrapped the colorful paper while he explained. "Everyone knows about Pirates versus Ninjas! It's only _all over_ the internet!" When he received blank stares he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Of course, I guess it only applies to anyone who does more than look up nature crap. Or isn't, you know, old enough to be my grandpa."

"I am very close to letting Lockdown get the blowtorch," Prowl warned.

"Anyway," the teenager said quickly, sticking the lollipop in his mouth, "Pirates versus Ninjas is a debate online. Basically, it's 'who would win, pirates or ninjas?'."

"So?"

"_So_," Bumblebee continued, pointing at Lockdown with his sugary treat, "Pirate," then at Prowl, "Ninja. And so, you two should be fighting, not… you know…"

"Fucking?" Lockdown offered.

"Eww!" the blond sugar addict cringed. "You didn't have to say it!"

"What? Don't like the image of me spreadin' Prowl out under me and…"

"Ugh! You're a sick old man, you perv!" Bumblebee exclaimed, grabbing his backpack and turning to Prowl, whose bright red face was in his hands. "See you at work, Prowl. Just remember: Pirates versus Ninjas." He then ran out, carefully avoiding Lockdown's triumphant smirk.

After he was gone, the trophy hunter began laughing. "Well, that got rid of him pretty quick, huh?"

"You _really are_ a sick old man," Prowl muttered, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. "Must you scare him off at _my_ expense?"

Lockdown shrugged and pushed himself off of the car, walking over and rubbing the ninja's shoulders with his rough hands. "Worked, didn't it?"

Prowl sighed and leaned into it. "Whatever it takes the get the job done, right?"

The older man grinned and leaned down, planting a kiss on his partner's nape. "Couldn't'a put it better myself."

"What nonsense he was spouting, 'Pirates versus Ninjas'," Prowl muttered, relaxing. Lockdown worked the stress in his shoulders and upper back while his mouth roamed his neck and jaw. The Japanese man had the bad habit of stretching himself thin, between working for the Elite Guard, helping Lockdown in the Death's Head, and keeping his strict training and lifestyle as a dedicated student of ninjitsu. "Who cares who would win? I can't think of an instance where the two would even have the courtesy of meeting. And you don't even _look_ like a pirate."

"Y'sure about that?" Lockdown smirked. He held out his mechanical arm and the robotic hand on the end retracted, replaced by a menacing looking hook. "Give me a parrot and an eye patch and I'll make a damn good effort."

Prowl chuckled. "You forgot a peg leg and a funny hat. I suppose you do have similarities. You're not friendly with the authorities, you drink like there's no tomorrow, and you have no shame in using dirty tactics in a fight. We fight with honor."

Lockdown snorted. "Honor? What kinda shattered glass does _your_ mirror have? I mean, sure, _you're_ all about honor and shit, but they were _assassins_."

"Assassins with a code of honor."

"Pirates had a code!"

"More like guidelines."

"Whatever, a gun can trump honor any day."

"You can't shoot what you can't see. Ninjas have stealth."

"Yeah, well, they're not as big or strong. If they get caught…"

"And that's a _big_ if."

"…the pirates would rape them."

"…what?" Prowl stopped arguing.

Lockdown grinned. "Hey, if the ninja's as cute as you, a pirate would never want to waste such a fine piece of ass."

"Is everything about sex with you?" Prowl felt inclined to ask.

"No. Only stuff involving you."

"Flattering," the ebony haired man replied flatly.

"I'm surprised," Lockdown commented. He brought his mechanical hand out again, going back to rubbing the ninja's shoulders. "You realize what we were doing, right?"

"Hmm?" Prowl hummed his response, relaxing again.

"Pirates versus Ninjas."

"Ninjas."

"Pirates."

They both laughed. Bumblebee would be disappointed to know that the little battle he started had the completely opposite effect than he was hoping for. Instead of driving them apart, it had brought them closer together.


End file.
